Friday, March 1, 2013

Let's Get Caught Up

I guess it's been a LONG while since I've posted anything. Lets get caught up, shall we? Let's go all the way back to December 2012...

On December 7th, we found out that we had less then a month to move out of our Hurricane home that we were renting. The homeowner who owned that house, owned another one in Las Vegas. They sold the house in Las Vegas and needed that Hurricane house now. So frantically, we searched for a new place. After a couple weeks, we found a rental in the same HOA as Kristi's (my mother in law).

But before we moved, we took a little break and took a vacation to Brian Head, Utah as our Christmas gift from Kristi. Read the blog post here...

After getting back, we had to quickly pack, load everything up and move it in to the new place (which was in St George). We put up the basics and slowly moved in. So by January 1st, we were in the new house. I continued to work at Maverik, but instead of walking to work, I would have to drive from St. George to Hurricane every time I worked, and back home after work.

Before we fully moved in, I took the girls up to Salt Lake to visit my family for the holidays. We spent a few days up in SLC and then headed back home. When I called work to make sure I was off... I was not. I was scheduled to be at work in an hour after getting home from Salt Lake. So when Rachel got home from work, I took off to get to work. I had been up since 8 that morning, drove home and stayed up all night until getting home at 8 the next morning. I was exhausted!

Not much happened in January (that I can recall). Just kept working, sleep during the day and would watch the girls in the evening, and repeat.

In February, I finally gave my 2 weeks notice to Maverik. Worked my last night on February 26th.

Because I was working nights and sleeping during the day, it really messed up my body and mind. So I agreed with Rachel to come up to Salt Lake for a few months to get back on track and to keep on track with my medications. I left on a Greyhound Bus from St. George to Salt Lake on February 27th. That was not a fun trip. Word of advice, bring a pillow for your butt and back.

Since I was now up here for a while, I knew I had to find a job. Applied to several places (THANKS Tristyn for driving me around that one day getting applications) before I had an interview at Dan's Food right near my parents house. Fact: my mom is floral manager there. But I went in for an interview, and was hired the next day as a part time cashier. I later found out from my manager that she was very hesitant to hire me because of how I appeared (quiet) to them. But she gave me a shot. So on my first day, I was supposed to learn how to check... I spent that entire Friday bagging. So the next day, I knew I had to learn how to check, so I learned the basics. It was a Saturday, and like all Saturdays, it gets busy and crazy. So, I decided to hop in a check stand and help check. All my years of cashiering came back to me, and the front end supervisor was so impressed and told my bosses. They were shocked because I came off as someone who looked like my life was hell and wasn't going to last very long there. But time went on, I worked my shifts and time strolled along.

But before the day before I worked my first day at work, Rachel drove the girls up here for a few days. We had fun and they stayed for a few days.

Then they had to go back home. I had to work that Sunday, so my parents drove them back home. But that following Tuesday, after I stopped by to say Hi to my mom after a doctor appointment, they asked if I could come in to work someone's shift. This impressed them even more, and immediately bumped me up from part time to to full time that day.

I started going back to my therapist and councilors that I saw before I got married. Different doctors this time, but it worked. I was told to exercise to help with my depression. So every night, I would take my parents dog Snickers for a walk (especially during halftime of the Utah Jazz games on TV). My physical and mental health was slowly getting better... I was losing weight and I was thinking more clearly.

Well, April rolled up upon us. I was working, talking to the girls on the phone almost every night, and trying to keep myself entertained (since I couldn't drive-- no insurance) by listening to comedy on Spotify.

I would also text Rachel late at night to keep up with stuff going on with life down there. Then she told me the worst news I could ever want to hear: She no longer wanted to be married to me anymore. She wanted to move on.

I was heartbroken! It didn't sink in for a few days, but because I was worrying, I was starting to have stomach pains. I would have to constantly suck on Tums and Pepto. I was starting to wake up every morning at 5AM in pain, take a Tums, and go back to bed for a few more hours.

My life was falling apart. I was hoping to go back home in August. That was the plan. ...... Not anymore. It looked like my old home was my new home.

I was trying to win Rachel back by paying attention, sending her gifts and helping pay bills... But it wasn't helping.... It was hard, because I knew that meant no vacations as a family, no more seeing the girls open gifts on their birthdays or on Christmas morning.... No more being a whole family.

Next post, the month of May...