Monday, July 29, 2013

Mr. Rooster

I forgot to post this video in with the last blog post, about when I went down to visit the girls in early May 2013...

Here, Chloe sings one of the graduation songs that her class was taught. It's called, "Mr. Rooster"...

Sunday, July 28, 2013

First Half of May 2013

I was still struggling through the pain of being told the one they married for life, no longer wanted to be with them. So I continued to go to work and put on a fake smile on my face.

Then, on May 4th, my parents and I traveled south to St George to visit the girls for a while week. Rachel never stayed in the house, she stayed with friends and relatives. So we took care of and got the girls to and from school. When Rachel was around, I tried looking at her. But the way she looked at me, I could see the love was gone in her heart... I knew our marriage was over.

But that was not why we were down there, I was here to be with my girls. We had a lot of fun with the girls all week. While we were there, it started raining heavily and then started to hail heavily too. After it stopped pouring, the twins went outside and played in the puddles. During the week we were there, I took them on lots of walks/bike rides to the park. We also took them bowling and also went to The St. George Dinosaur Discovery Site at Johnson Farm.

On the last day, my parents dropped me and the girls off at their school so they could have school lunch before they started school. We had lunch and then went outside to play on the playground with their school mates. My parents pulled up to pick me up so we could head back to Salt Lake City. I gave them hugs and told them I loved them so much. I hopped in the car and started bawling my eyes out for a good hour on the drive home to Salt Lake.

I kept in contact with them and talked to them on the phone whenever I could.

I was still suffering from realizing my marriage was over. I posted stuff on Facebook and got A LOT of positive feedback my friends on what I needed to do (those that have gone through this themselves). With this, I knew what I needed to do to start to move on.

In May, things slowly started getting better for me. I had lost a bit of weight and I was promoted to Front End Supervisor. Then in the middle of May, the twins graduated Kindergarten.

Next, the later part of May and the long fun adventure of bringing the girls up here for a month and a half...

Friday, July 26, 2013

Happy 6th Birthday Twins

I know I am not in Saint George today with the family, but I just wanted to wish my big 6 year old girls a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!! I hope you enjoy your birthday Sketcher shoes I bought for you to wear to school next month.

It does not seem like 6 years has gone by. Soon you will be 18 and off to college... :(

You'll always be daddy's little girls, no matter how old you get.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Let's Get Caught Up

I guess it's been a LONG while since I've posted anything. Lets get caught up, shall we? Let's go all the way back to December 2012...

On December 7th, we found out that we had less then a month to move out of our Hurricane home that we were renting. The homeowner who owned that house, owned another one in Las Vegas. They sold the house in Las Vegas and needed that Hurricane house now. So frantically, we searched for a new place. After a couple weeks, we found a rental in the same HOA as Kristi's (my mother in law).

But before we moved, we took a little break and took a vacation to Brian Head, Utah as our Christmas gift from Kristi. Read the blog post here...

After getting back, we had to quickly pack, load everything up and move it in to the new place (which was in St George). We put up the basics and slowly moved in. So by January 1st, we were in the new house. I continued to work at Maverik, but instead of walking to work, I would have to drive from St. George to Hurricane every time I worked, and back home after work.

Before we fully moved in, I took the girls up to Salt Lake to visit my family for the holidays. We spent a few days up in SLC and then headed back home. When I called work to make sure I was off... I was not. I was scheduled to be at work in an hour after getting home from Salt Lake. So when Rachel got home from work, I took off to get to work. I had been up since 8 that morning, drove home and stayed up all night until getting home at 8 the next morning. I was exhausted!

Not much happened in January (that I can recall). Just kept working, sleep during the day and would watch the girls in the evening, and repeat.

In February, I finally gave my 2 weeks notice to Maverik. Worked my last night on February 26th.

Because I was working nights and sleeping during the day, it really messed up my body and mind. So I agreed with Rachel to come up to Salt Lake for a few months to get back on track and to keep on track with my medications. I left on a Greyhound Bus from St. George to Salt Lake on February 27th. That was not a fun trip. Word of advice, bring a pillow for your butt and back.

Since I was now up here for a while, I knew I had to find a job. Applied to several places (THANKS Tristyn for driving me around that one day getting applications) before I had an interview at Dan's Food right near my parents house. Fact: my mom is floral manager there. But I went in for an interview, and was hired the next day as a part time cashier. I later found out from my manager that she was very hesitant to hire me because of how I appeared (quiet) to them. But she gave me a shot. So on my first day, I was supposed to learn how to check... I spent that entire Friday bagging. So the next day, I knew I had to learn how to check, so I learned the basics. It was a Saturday, and like all Saturdays, it gets busy and crazy. So, I decided to hop in a check stand and help check. All my years of cashiering came back to me, and the front end supervisor was so impressed and told my bosses. They were shocked because I came off as someone who looked like my life was hell and wasn't going to last very long there. But time went on, I worked my shifts and time strolled along.

But before the day before I worked my first day at work, Rachel drove the girls up here for a few days. We had fun and they stayed for a few days.

Then they had to go back home. I had to work that Sunday, so my parents drove them back home. But that following Tuesday, after I stopped by to say Hi to my mom after a doctor appointment, they asked if I could come in to work someone's shift. This impressed them even more, and immediately bumped me up from part time to to full time that day.

I started going back to my therapist and councilors that I saw before I got married. Different doctors this time, but it worked. I was told to exercise to help with my depression. So every night, I would take my parents dog Snickers for a walk (especially during halftime of the Utah Jazz games on TV). My physical and mental health was slowly getting better... I was losing weight and I was thinking more clearly.

Well, April rolled up upon us. I was working, talking to the girls on the phone almost every night, and trying to keep myself entertained (since I couldn't drive-- no insurance) by listening to comedy on Spotify.

I would also text Rachel late at night to keep up with stuff going on with life down there. Then she told me the worst news I could ever want to hear: She no longer wanted to be married to me anymore. She wanted to move on.

I was heartbroken! It didn't sink in for a few days, but because I was worrying, I was starting to have stomach pains. I would have to constantly suck on Tums and Pepto. I was starting to wake up every morning at 5AM in pain, take a Tums, and go back to bed for a few more hours.

My life was falling apart. I was hoping to go back home in August. That was the plan. ...... Not anymore. It looked like my old home was my new home.

I was trying to win Rachel back by paying attention, sending her gifts and helping pay bills... But it wasn't helping.... It was hard, because I knew that meant no vacations as a family, no more seeing the girls open gifts on their birthdays or on Christmas morning.... No more being a whole family.

Next post, the month of May...